“Say that again. Could you repeat what my life purpose is?” I asked.
“Successful, Innovative Spiritual Teacher,” she responded.
That’s what I heard the first time too.
Look, I knew the successful part — for the most part, I’d been completing and succeeding with little effort on the things I was passionate about since I was a kid. Admittedly it was easier at 10 than at 30 but still it worked — when I drifted into something that I loved — and that’s how the passion finds us, well, me anyway — I’d follow my gut or my nose or my eyes to the next idea and when something stuck (like bonding with animals, writing for the paper or playing the piano) I’d stick with it. It looked easy because I was following my heart and applying in the most basic sense the purpose of Success (completion). I got that.
Innovation – that made sense too — the innovator purpose drives us to set a high bar for ourselves. To achieve for our own satisfaction as opposed to needing the public accolades (but we like them too). That phrase about hearing your own drummer has always resonated with me so this wasn’t such a stretch for me to ingest the concept of Innovator being part of my life purpose.
But whoa! Spiritual Teacher scared the crap out of me. For one, it sounded like a job description — that I had to leave my life and join a religious order or move to an ashram or become a mystic or something. My spiritual development was pretty much stalled — or so I thought. I didn’t realize that all the philosophizing, reading and seeking I’d been doing was actually part of the spiritual journey. At least not then. I really thought it sounded like being a cult-leader and I wasn’t interested. I actually went to bed that night distraught wondering what the heck I’d been set up for. Resentful that I had this purpose.
So when I say my hand reading changed my life, I’m not kidding.
I spent 5 years with nearly single focus on my spiritual journey so that I could “be” this purpose. I’ve had laser vision like you wouldn’t believe. It’s like I’ve had on blinders to the entire “reality” of living in the world because I was so busy pursuing what I thought was supposed to be a spiritual teacher’s life.
Interesting trip its been and while I’m glad I’ve done it, I know now it could have been a lot easier…I made more hoops than necessary for myself to jump through. That craziness is sort of the back-door of success…when we get confused or off kilter we think we have to work REALLY hard to make things happen. Silly when you realize you’re working your a$$ off to BE your purpose.
So this last year I’ve realized the need to get my act together in the real world. The same act that used to be sooo in order that I didn’t have any room for any stinkin’ “spiritual namby-pamby-touchy-feely crap.” Really.
Now what’s happening is that I see I CAN be spiritual and loud and fierce and even superficial (if you call watching TV regularly while flipping the pages of the latest issue of People Magazine superficial). Sometimes I can even be snarky but I try to watch it and make sure no one gets hurt, including me. Sometimes you just have to call things out that don’t make sense and need a little snarkiness to lighten the scene. Oh, and I’ve been known to curse. Just ask my southern sorority sisters who have tried to break me of the F*bomb habit — they’re right of course, it’s not at all ladylike, nor endearing. But sometimes, those little slips of the tongue are the only things that work for me.
Today I feel more comfortable in my purpose because it’s mine. It’s my way of being. It’s not someone else’s definition or insight or preconceived vision (including the one that I had) of what a successful, innovative, spiritual, teacher is — it’s just me. Such a relief. Now I can go back to taking action in my life, living the way I’m meant to live without worrying about doing it right. I hate that it took five years to figure out that I already was on the journey and that I didn’t need to give up anything or change my core being to be on purpose, but I’m glad that I can share the story with you — so you know your purpose is your essence. It’s already there and you’re already being you. When you decide to deepen your purpose and step into it — you can take big steps and leaps and jump right into the morass that is before you (like I did - not terribly recommended, yet never dull) or you can take daily steps and tweaks and learn how to take the essence of you and bring it bigger and bolder into the world.
If you want to learn more about your purpose and how to bring it out into your practical everyday life – let me know. Or click on the “I want my heads read” link above.