Such a heavy word!
Recognizing your worth is apparent in your finances. Still your worth is much deeper. Fixing the money woes rarely happens in 30 or 60 day window. That’s because it’s hard to repair 10 years or more of self-doubt and self-negation in 30 or 60 days.
That’s not to say that breakthroughs don’t happen like lightening bolts – they often do. It is to say that the road to healing is sometimes a long one. The thing is – you’re on the road of life for as long as you get (and if you’re like me, you’re counting on a long one!) so you may as well start today with the healing and the steps to solvency.
Unfulfilling habits take hold and become routine much easier than the fulfilling ones. If you were told in 3rd grade you weren’t a good reader, or as pretty as Tammy or as smart as Bobby, then you could either shake it off (if you had a mom like Brene Brown, let’s say) or, you could have put it into your internal “self file.”
Depending on your level of self-confidence from an early age – supported by your parents and other important-to-you adults – you either added fuel to the “I’m not worthy | I’m not good enough” fire or you didn’t listen to anyone other than your inner truth that you are worthy beyond compare.
Because you’re here, I’m going to guess that you fall in one of two categories:
- Most of the time you feel pretty good and worthy. Nothing spectacular, but you don’t let anyone see you sweat and you mostly have a really cool life and good people around you. Some of the time you feel worried that you’re not “keeping up” (in love or money) and you feel less-than those around you. You’d like to earn more money and you’d like to have deeper and more meaningful relationships.
- You feel like there’s a bit of a black cloud hanging overhead and no matter what you do, the Universe keeps smacking you back down – reminding you that you really aren’t special. Your relationships are dances of you trying to prove your worth, you being taken advantage of, and you constantly berating yourself for getting mad and angry at your partner, even when he/she berates you in front of the kids, yells at you constantly and more or less does everything he/she can to remind you that if it weren’t for him/her you’d be NOWHERE. Your business and finances run the entire realm of feast and famine and you are beginning to think it’s because you’re just not good enough.
If you’re struggling in finances, you’re likely suffering in some of your relationships too. They’re intertwined with you and your belief in your worth. The fix won’t come with another marketing quiz, a 30 day program or a 90 day package. The fix comes from within. Through guided work and heart-rending questions. It’s about breaking down your belief system that is not serving you and then rebuilding a new foundation based on holding yourself as a cherished being – because you are.
No matter how many times I TELL you that you’re valuable, until you can dig in and explore what value you believe you have – nothing will change.
We live in a time where we’re constantly comparing ourselves on social media (Am I grieving enough for Oklahoma? Did I say thank you to all the Warriors on Memorial Day? Did Susan think that I was sincere when I responded to her post about her bad day?). It goes on and on. And it’s a nightmare for people working to address their own self-worth issues.
These situations are potent for all of us and are particularly raw for anyone with a life purpose or life lesson on one or both of their Saturn (middle) fingers.
What can I say to make this better for you?
Likely nothing more than platitudes. But you have my word that I understand and I hear you and I see you.
While I cannot fix your self-worth questions and doubts in a reading, or a 90 day coaching program, I can be present to hold the space you need, and ask the questions that might be tough to hear. I can (and would gladly, proudly) spend time as you need it helping you to look in the mirror of where you are and where you want to be – holding your hand as you need it and strongly nudging you as you need it. For as long as it takes to get through the muck and to your value.
I guess the big secret here is this – there is no “quick fix” – and the more you’re looking for one – the more time it’s going to take to get to your center and truth. Profound changes take time – they happen in fits and starts and gradual changes to how you see yourself. Just like live, the evolution can be joyful and filled with brave leaps or it can be painful and ill-fitting. The choice, as always, is yours.