If you have a problem – say a leaky faucet or a hole in your fence you wouldn’t solve it by ignoring it. I mean, you could spend every day focusing on the rest of the fence that is sturdy and strong. You can send gratitude into the Universe for the miracle of modern plumbing, but you’ll still have a hole in your fence and a leaky faucet keeping you up at night 6 months later.
So why would you ignore a fear or other nagging concern in your life?
You may not know you’re ignoring it.
You may simply have drank so much LOA kool-aid that you believe that focusing on the fear, or the lack, or the illness will bring you MORE of it. So you simply bury it.
I’ve done it too.
I’ve told myself to focus on listing my blessings. The things I truly am grateful for – beautiful dogs, a loving partner, strong thighs, fresh veggies in my garden, blue skies. All that jazz. And it’s true. I’m grateful for those things.
But I was actively trying to ignore the fact that my debt was spiraling out of control. I was actively ignoring the fact that my body was not as strong or as healthy as it once was. I was expending a crap-load of energy on focusing only on the good stuff. And I wasn’t expending nearly enough energy into digging into the problem and taking action to fix it.
No matter the problem – it needs your attention.
And by attention, I mean just that. I don’t mean obsession. I don’t mean sob stories. I don’t mean excuses on why it happened or why it’s everyone else’s fault – if that’s your MO we should talk about your lower chakras and your insistence on martyrdom and/or playing victim. (and it’s possible that if that’s your inner tape, your life lesson is sitting there on your middle and first fingers).
Giving attention to what is broken is not the same thing as reveling in it. It simply is a process by which you can start fixing, healing or taking control of what’s not working.
If your faucet wasn’t working you could take a look at it yourself. Maybe it’s just a washer that needs replacing. All those nights listening to drip-drip-drip and it’s fixed in a half hour! Or maybe it’s something more complicated. You can keep lying awake listening to the dripping or you can call someone with experience and expertise to help you. Your call. But the faucet leaking is not some sign that you’re a failure in your life. That you inherently do not deserve a good night’s sleep. That the faucet manufacturer and the entire plumbing industry is out to get you, is it? Didn’t think so.
Why would you think being in debt or in the middle of an unsatisfying relationship or stuck at a yucky job is some big, huge honking statement about your worth as a human being?!
And if it were (which it’s not) why the hell would ignoring the situation change anything?!
That’s really the point here.
Attention, with intention to take action starts the ball rolling in a positive direction.
This is different than wallowing in pain and anger and angst and blame – it’s about making a conscious effort to assess the situation and create an action plan to get it fixed. No judgment. No right and no wrong. It simply is a situation that exists and you have the opportunity right now to get in there and take action to fix it.
It may be something you need help with (like the faucet) but that doesn’t mean you are a complete and utter loser and failure for not knowing how to fix it on your own. The fact of the matter is, you rock. You took a look, you assessed and you made an executive decision to get it taken care of, once and for all by calling in a pro. Good for you.
What are you willing to look at today? What will you approach with curiosity and a desire to make right?
A big thanks to Melody Beattie and her book Make Miracles in 40 Days, which prompted my thinking about this topic.
If you’re thinking you’ll want some help facing your version of the leaky faucet, let me know, I’m putting the finishing touches on a private and group program that’s dedicated to this very subject. It’s going to be fun and make a huge difference in all our lives.