It IS Impossible to Get What You Want (until it’s not)

Why Impossible is Real
and what to do about it

Are you one of the amazing women who have been brainwashed to believe that “Nothing is Impossible?”

You are if you’ve been to so many self-help, live your purpose, learn your value workshops, that you are beating yourself up for NOT making 6 figures while only working 4 hours a week.

I have the honor of talking to people every day who are willing to be vulnerable and share passions and their fears with me.

In these intimate conversations, vivacious women from 32 to 73 tell me what they WISH were true in their lives and careers.

They are seekers and light-workers and creatives and healers, they’ve already done so much work to reveal their passions and purpose.  They’ve filled their hard drives with downloads and home study programs – all in the pursuit of living their passions.  They are ready to leave the 9-5 behind!

But they are stuck.  And a little embarrassed and a lot hurt about feeling stuck.  After all they are smart and personable and passionate about their WHY!

They’re not doing anything wrong, but what they are doing to live their passions isn’t necessarily right either.

In this process, I ask “How much money are you making doing your passion/gift/creativity right now?”  Often the answer is none, or that they are receiving gifts or other services in exchange.

The next question is “How much money do you want to be making?”  This is where they lead with “I know nothing is impossible and I want to be making 6 figures!

This is, usually quite a disconnect.  While each conversation is focused on an individual’s desires and visions, the disconnects are eerily similar.

I’ve been there myself and I know in excruciating detail how painful this place is. It’s awful to know that you should or could make 6 figures, because your gurus told you to set the bar high, only to wake up each morning, caught in the glare of the no (or very little) income reality.

>Deep Breath<

When you get so caught up in the VISION and the mantra that  nothing is impossible you lose sight of the REALITY of the world you’re living in.

The practical world requires you to take specific and focused action in order to pay your practical living expenses – like rent, gas, insurance and food.

As you place your vision over the reality of your needs and wants you begin to doubt your ability to make it happen. You haven’t yet earned anything (or much) with your passion and your EGO is having a field day, reminding you of that fact.

But!” your inner child shouts, “NOTHING is impossible if I want it enough. The Universe will show me the way.”

Okay.

If that IS working for you, stop reading now and carry on. On the other hand, if you’ve been caught in the battle between your Ego and your Inner Child for longer than a week, STOP the MADNESS!

The  more you carry on this debate, the harder it gets to take action. Your inner kid is sulking and your ego is acting like an annoying big sister full of “I told you so’s.”

In the meantime, you’re chained tighter to the belief that you have to keep your J.O.B. because you simply do not have what it takes to earn 6 figures while working 4 hours a week.

The magic word is BELIEF.

Your soul might love the Nothing is Impossible mantra, but your mind doesn’t buy it. Your mind believes that it is impossible to give up your job and get paid to do something you love.  Your mind believes what it perceives.

You keep proving to yourself that getting paid for your passions isn’t really for you. This masquerades as:

  • I’m not sure WHICH is the RIGHT Passion;
  • I need more training;
  • I’m overwhelmed and clearly not organized enough;
  • No one wants to pay me

and more.

So you find yourself in a never-ending loop of mantras and doubts. As you sink deeper your heart hurts until it scars over and you simply walk away, mumbling that it’s not even worth it to try.

How about a new idea?

Pick an interim goal and aim for that.  It might be 7 years until you really believe that you can earn six figures and work four hours a week.  Which is fine!

That day will arrive if you move toward it strategically.

Your interim goal might be to earn $500 each month doing your passion while working your current job.  When this becomes easy, you can up the goal, either dollars or time.  Now your ego is on board, because you’ve got proof that you can do it.

Are you willing to try it? A new month is the perfect time to set a goal that challenges you but is doable!

What well-meaning mantras have been keeping you stuck?  Feel free to share your comments here!

Do You Have Marriage Lines?

You are now either hoping you do or don’t have these mysterious Marriage lines. Either you’re single or coupled and either you’re happy or unhappy about your status.

Relationships are so often convoluted and confusing and you might have noticed that you base a lot of your self-esteem on your relationship situation.  You might even think that “everything” will be “better” when you are “finally” married.

Is it true?

My experience has shown me that getting married can exacerbate every single insecurity I ever had. My two marriages taught me that all those cliches are true – you really OUGHT to be whole before you marry another person.  I learned that you can’t lump your worth into the basket of how well you “fix” him (or her).  Falling in love with potential just wasn’t the wisest move for me.

You might have a completely different experience. I have friends that started dating in High School and they’re happily married to this day. I suspect that seeing his potential at 16 led her to want to live up to the potential he saw in her.  Sometimes that happens too.

We each have our own stuff and experiences to learn from here on Earth. Whether you fall in love, marry and live happily ever after with your high school crush or not, your relationship story is part of the way you become whole.

Does that mean you can rely on the fortune-teller who told you that you have no marriage lines to mean that you will be alone for the rest of your life?

Nah.

First off,  your lines can and often do change. Especially those little lines.  Secondly, don’t be one of those people who says you want to claim your free will and then starts a self-fulfilling prophecy based on a statement from a stranger you paid 20 bucks when you were slightly buzzed on a Friday night out with your friends.

Here’s the deal.

Some people have tons of lines in their hands. There are lines EVERYWHERE you look.  Other people have three lines that you can easily see.  That’s just how they’re made. Just like your eye color, skin color or shape of your toes – you were made that way. Don’t fret. It’s perfectly you.

When someone presses me to tell them if they have marriage lines I tell them I’d rather talk about the way they show up in relationships and their expectations of others. Then we’ll review their Mercury (Pinky) finger, heart line, and other places in the palm that speak to communication savvy, boundaries and people skills.  We’ll also review areas in the hand to look at how open they are to change and how willing they are to trust and surrender control.  These pieces of their hard-wiring clue us in on how open they are to a relationship, how realistic their expectations are and how likely they are to really show up in a great partnership.

After a decade of reading hands I know that everyone is capable of love and that love is a universal need. Your hands have shown me that partnerships are always meaningful and that “forever” isn’t always what the fairy tales told us. A relationship can have meaning for us throughout our lives, even if we’re not physically still together. In a way that’s forever.

Instead of asking if you have Marriage Lines, ask yourself who you’d have to be to be in a madly passionate, committed and joy-filled union.  Get clear on whether marriage is or is not an institution that floats your boat.  Then be the person you’re meant to be now.  No more waiting to see what “fate” has in store.  Go out and love and ignore the fortune-tellers trying to scare you or assuage you.  Be you.

photo by: Roebot