Do You Trust Your Intuition?

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Inspiration

Your intuition can be your best business “secret” in your marketing toolbox.

No matter what you’ve been promised as the way to your dream income, your perfect clients, or anything else to build your business it’s all so much NOISE if it doesn’t resonate with your inner voice.

Intuition is a bit of a tricky business.

Sometimes we say “It was my intuition” that told us not to stretch | grow our audience | step into the spotlight | raise our rates — when really it was our fear of success/failure running the show.

Your intuition is all about your highest self knowing what will and won’t benefit you in the real world. Sometimes your intuition pushes you to pursue something  you’ve never thought about before, and sometimes it does caution  you not to jump into something if the timing is off – but it’s really your Highest Self – your Divine Self letting you know what the next steps are.

Identifying and tuning into your intuition and then following the guidance is a lot like learning a new way of eating or a new way of building certain muscles -  sometimes it’s trial and error and sometimes what’s called for is practice, practice, practice.

As intuition and business Coach Cari Vollmer says,

“listening to your intuition is one of the main reasons biz owners struggle. Your intuition is your #1 business building tool! You are also right, listen to the experts and coaches and then tune-in… Ask, what is my next step? Listen… Then act! Intuition… Listening to it and acting on it…. It’s one of the smartest and most practical things you could do.”

How will you tapping into your intuition help your business? Share your thoughts in the comments!

 

photo by: h.koppdelaney

Do You Feel Like You’re Drowning? 6 tips for Getting out of the Deep End

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... Shervin ...

How to Get out of the Deep End

Have you ever felt like you’re drowning, figuratively speaking, of course?

Between the headlines, the deadlines, the traffic and the shoulds and expectations in our world, you’d have to be otherworldly to never feel overcome and overwhelmed. I’ve been told that even highly spiritual people are overwhelmed with grief, suffering and doubts from time to time. So clearly,  you’re not alone if  even monks and other spiritual leaders are not exempt.

Knowing that you’re in good company not-withstanding wouldn’t it be nice to spend less time drowning (or treading water) and more time at peace in your life?

Life, our most precious gift, can sometimes morph into feeling like a curse – your mental, spiritual, emotional and physical faculties sometimes seem to conspire to keep us curled up in the fetal position, afraid to move, and angry at the world (or the Universe, or the people with whom we share our lives!)

If you feel like you’re drowning, here are some tips to get out of the deep end and onto shore:

  • Find the source. Is this a physical situation, an emotional one, a spiritual one or a mental challenge? Locate where the despair is living and face it.  This means you’ll need to spend some time with yourself. This can be done sitting still (no TV, no phone, no computer, etc) or out in nature (no phone, no walking partner, no doggies, just you, yourself and Mother Nature).  During your stillness let whatever you’re feeling arrive.
  • Let go of judgment. Our egos love for us to judge our feelings. Ego (Edging God Out*) likes to keep you off balance and struggling – the better to “protect” you by keeping you at the status quo. As your feelings or thoughts or repetitive inner “tapes” crop up, resist the instinct to quash them or to argue with them or to give them more wood for the fire. Simply let the feelings show up and pass on.
  • Discover the truth. As the feelings occur and your need to judge them or own them takes over – ask yourself, “Is this true?”  For instance, you might tell yourself, “I’m an AWFUL daughter, my Dad is sick and I haven’t been to visit him, he must hate me.”   Is it true? Are you an awful daughter? What would that mean? Go deep with this exercise until you find the truth.
  • Create the life you want. In your mind for now. This is probably the most potent exercises my clients use to move from where they are to where they want to be. Here’s how it works – instead of focusing on what you don’t want, start clarifying how you want to feel in the new and improved situation. Perhaps you cannot take another day in the life-sucking job that is quite literally making you sick. Instead of pulling out the classifieds or logging onto the job hunting sites, start imaging exactly how you want to FEEL in the new job. Get clear on the types of people you want to interact with each day, and how it feels to be doing your work. Do you want to be challenged intellectually? What does that feel like?  Keep imagining the new situation and make it as real as you can – then you can start looking, trusting that the Universe is conspiring with you to make it happen.
  • Write down your wins. Most of us spend an inordinate amount of free time focusing on what is going wrong and how it tags onto everything that’s gone wrong in the past. Instead, spend at least 15 minutes before hitting the pillow tonight writing down the things that went right. This doesn’t have to be a flowery recap of gratitude if that’s not your thing. This can be a bullet point list of 5 things that went right. Here’s an example from my recent list: 1) The irises finally bloomed; 2) Tick-free dogs;  3) Client breakthrough (finally) on her situation; 4) Planning call with L regarding retreat – should be a blast; 5) Dad’s responding well to chemo.  I like to keep the list to five things and I like to keep it short.  This process can change the way you sleep at night!  Put it into practice now.
  • Surrender your need to be in control. This is tough. We like to feel like we’re in control. When we worry about outcomes it feels like we’re ‘doing something’ and ‘taking charge.’  Truth be told, we’re only wearing down our bodies with stress.  Whether you grind your teeth, press your tongue into the back of your teeth or tap your foot incessantly – you’re adding more pressure to your body. This can be relieved when you realize that the bravest and strongest thing you can possibly do is let go of your need to be in control.  Surrendering is actually the sign of strength and wholeness you’ve been looking for.

So when you feel like you’re drowning, remember there’s always a life buoy close at hand. Take hold and make your way to shore!

* The first time I head the phrase “Edging God Out” in relationship to ego is while reading Wayne Dyer’s Wishes Fulfilled.

photo by: Hamed Saber

What do Your Want to be Known For?

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a short series on suicide. step 1: curiosity.

 

During this week’s Money Mojo Call I challenged listeners to get clear on what they want to be known for.  (If you want to hear the recording, go here.)

If you’re answer is “Life Coach” or “Reiki Master” or even “Mom” you’re not digging deep enough.

Being known, particularly as it relates to growing your business, is one of the single most important things you can do for your business. Being known allows you to attract Perfect Prospects and convert them into Perfect People, rather than focusing on desperately hunting down “targets” to rope into purchasing your product or service.

Being “known” doesn’t mean you have to be on the cover of Entrepreneur Magazine, or a guest on Super Soul Sunday (although if those are goals for you – keep shooting for them – you’ll get them sooner than you think).  Nope, being known is really about tapping into the unique combination of your purpose + your truth  + your skills + experiences.

What do you want to be known for?

It could be a combo of your wild ties and your ability to help men and women combat seasonal allergies without chemicals.

There is no limit here. And no right or wrong answer.  Simply determine WHAT you want to be known for and start acting as if you are already known!

Your Apollo/Ring finger can give you information about what form your spotlight takes and when you combine it with your other fingers, you can create a specific plan for communicating, marketing and building your reputation as a business owner.

Today though, make a proclamation and let us know what you want to be known for in the comments!

photo by: Casey David

Foot in mouth

Why Being a Life Coach is Tough (and what to do about it)

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It was probably about 2000 or 2001 when I first heard someone introduce themselves as a Life Coach.  I was at a networking function with a friend.  The earnest guy stuck his hand out, said hello and asked me what I did for a living. I returned the nicety.  When he said “I’m a Life Coach.” I laughed.  Not a big guffaw, but a laugh none-the-less.  Then I looked into his eyes and saw that he was serious.

I’m known for putting my foot in my mouth.

Foot in mouth

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t set out to hurt people’s feelings but sometimes it happens. It happened then.  I tried to backpedal. I asked some really sincere questions about how one becomes a Life Coach, but the damage was done.  That guy avoided me for the rest of the event.

I’d like to be forgiven because the term “life coach” wasn’t part of our vernacular back then as it is now. I certainly wasn’t aware of coaches other than those that hung out in gyms, football fields or at baseball diamonds. You could say I was busy in my own world – making money, cutting deals and working hard.

On the way home that night I said to my friend, “Can you believe it? A LIFE coach?! Is that for people who don’t know how to live? Don’t you just wake up and DO LIFE?!”  Together we laughed and tried to figure out what a person would possibly need to be coached on when it came to their life.

Over time I’ve learned about Life Coaching. Heck, some people have even referred to ME as a life coach. Still, the question remains…

Why would someone need/want/pay for a life coach?

Now it’s 2013 and I’m a little more seasoned and a ton more “hip” to the whole self-awareness, and inner improvement lifestyle. I understand the search for meaning in a much deeper way than I did at the turn of the Century. Yet, I still see the confusion in your perfect  prospects’  face, body language and eyes when you tell them you’re a Life Coach.

Right?

So, what are you going to do about it?  What CAN you do about that?

If you’re not converting perfect prospects to perfect Life Coaching clients easily, here are some suggestions:

  • Forget about using a title when answering the “what do you do?” question.  In other words, STOP answering that question with, “I’m a Life Coach.”  People may smile and nod and ask a few questions (they are more savvy than I was) but they aren’t thinking about people they can refer to you. And they certainly aren’t clear on how you can help them.
  • Answer the “what do you do?” question with a statement about what’s in it for them. Be clear on the results you get for your Perfect People. Be straightforward about who, exactly, you work with, and start there.  “I help severely shy men and women find their voice and attract the partner they’re longing for, ” or “I help Type-A CEOs slow down and enjoy their time off with their families – instead of spending all their time working.”
  • Resist the urge to “go to work” with everyone you meet. You don’t need to prove yourself when you’re networking. You need to be professional, polite and genuine. See the post on over coaching to understand this more deeply.
  • Be yourself. Ask questions, tell stories, invite others to join you at your table and make them feel welcome. Living your life fully is the best advertisement for you.
  • Live a fulfilled life!  (aka, walk your talk!) You are a model of the behavior/lifestyle your clients are seeking. It’s not bragging when you share anecdotes and stories about your life and family in conversations.   When someone says, “Man I’d love to do/have that in my life!” It’s perfectly fine to tell them they can have it if they choose it.  Then leave the topic alone, UNLESS THEY ask what you mean.  Keeping your responses open ended and genuine, allow the conversation flow.
  • Gain permission for the next step. In sales we’d refer to this as building a pipeline or moving into your sales cycle. You can call it deepening your relationship. Before you leave the conversation ask if you can follow up with a phone call, cup of coffee or note. If the person says yes, be sure to collect their business card and let them know what you’ll be doing next, i.e., “I’ll call you to set up a coffee date after you get back from your business trip. In the meantime, would it be alright to send you my weekly e-mail newsletter?”  Honor their response no matter what it is and follow up in the way you promised.
  • Keep building relationships. You became a Life Coach to help people enhance their quality of life. Help others enhance their lives whether or not they’re your client – by providing resources, introductions and more opportunities to connect. This does not have to be time consuming and it certainly doesn’t mean you should give your coaching away – rather it means allowing your relationships to grow.

If you’re ready to start live networking to build your life coaching (or other healing-related) business – let’s create a plan that uses the information in your hands.  If you’d like a complimentary Business by Hand Breakthrough session, leave a comment on this post. Each week I’ll randomly select one commenter who hasn’t received a session for a no-cost breakthrough!

Overcoaching & Healer’s Gift Markings

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healer gift markings

Are you having a tough time “closing” your potential perfect clients?

It happens to the best of us.

If you’re a coach it’s likely that you’ve learned various ways to conduct breakthrough sessions – to help you and your potential perfect people decide if you’re right for one another.  There are many amazing coaches who specialize in teaching you this part of your business building matrix.  Yet many of us an get this wrong.

You see, the breakthrough session is there in order to help you and your perfect prospects get to know one another. It helps your perfect prospects talk about their need to for help and their readiness to accept it, and it allows you to determine if you, your tools and your brand of healing is the right fit for them.

The thing is, if you have healer gift markings (like those circled in the print above), you are probably NOT closing any new clients as a result of these sessions.  Instead, you’re “overcoaching” and giving away solutions during your breakthrough session.

You see, the healer gift marking shows up in your hands when you have the gift of the healer, but are NOT using it to its fullest capacity in your every day life. When this happens, you’ll be living with the penalty of the healer.  The penalty is a sense that you’re isolated and not making headway. You might feel like you’re “helping and helping and getting no where.”

In other words, every time you give away your coaching or healing advice for free, you’re establishing the precedent that your work isn’t valuable – and not worth an exchange of energy.  What happens is that your prospects take the information in and then –

Who knows what they do with it!

They may file it under “good to know” or “do it later” or “free advice” and go on doing what they’ve been doing all along. Of course their results are not changing either. Still, they haven’t made a commitment to be held accountable to change what they’re doing in order to get new results.

And you are left feeling frustrated, sad or dis-empowered.

If you have the Healer gift markings and are struggling to book new clients – think about where you’re over-coaching without an exchange of energy and create new systems and processes to stop “giving it away.”